For people who whine about takebacks:
a) Learn to live with your mistakes. Your parents did.
b) The button marked "resign" resets ALL the pieces to their original squares.
For people who let their clocks run down in losing positions:
a) grow up and resign like a man
For people who offer repeated draws when they are losing:
a) Its nice to see your correct appraisal of the dismal state of your position. However, your full, unconditional surrender will be accepted when you hit "resign". Until then, feel free to keep clicking - you never know, I may have a mouse slip so bad that I accidently hit "draw" myself.
For people who resign in losing postions they would otherwise win on time:
a) You are a true gentleman.
b) Hence you are suffering the fate of all true gentlemen in war - ie a lot of unnecessary pain, following rules the other guy doesnt have to.
c) Its ok to win on time! even in a lost position!
d) It's not your fault if the other guy cant handle his clock or win his position in the amount of time you both agreed to at the start of the game.
For people who insult opponents after losing:
a) The funniest thing I ever heard was a tell: "You have won a game of chess. But the important game in life is wether you are an A**hole. In this game, I am the winner". Sir, I take my hat off to you and agree with you completely - though possibly not in the sense you originally intended. having seen what comes out of you, it only confirms your identity.
b) For all the others: You're just like this guy. Only not as funny.
For people who insult opponents after winning:
a) Ok, we can all see the appeal of adding insult to injury. Just remember there are plenty of guys out there who could stuff you just as badly.
b) Unless you're Kaparov. In which case, you've earned the right.
I dedicate this post to the funniest guy who currently plays at chess.net, one_min, in the hope he enjoys it as much as I did and that he gets a chance to read it before it gets removed. Also to my other chess.net hero, MOHCTP, one of the rare players who says "gg" when you beat him.